By: Nancy Greenlee, LPC, The Meadows Therapist
Once a month, the Workshop team is treated to a consultation from Pia Mellody, the creator of the Survivors workshop treatment model. She makes herself available, both to consult on clinical cases, answer and process questions and to inspire us with her wise adages for the spirituality of recovery. Often, I leave our gatherings with notes in hand to share with my workshop groups.
This is part two of this blog posting.
This is part two of our insights and excerpts from Dr. Patrick Carnes’ upcoming book, Recovery Zone II, Building A New Life. In this sneak peak, Dr. Carnes reflects on the experiences of business executives, professionals, celebrities, musicians, medical professionals or attorneys who he has seen come through the Gentle Path and Willow House programs at The Meadows. He states:
“Think of people of extraordinary talent that you know of who went to treatment. They had extraordinary success already but addiction and mental illness thrived in the trauma and stress of fame and performance. Sometimes whole bands or whole high profile families would seek help. Sometimes they would have to go more than once – maybe even multiple times. Because of their success, this was noteworthy to our media. They cater to an audience of people who enjoy the failures of people who followed their talent. Shakespeare knew that audience and talked about jealousy and envy as “a green eyed monster which mocks the very meat it feeds upon.” Media commentators roll their eyes and make fun when someone ends up in treatment again. Pundits discuss whether recovery or treatment works when someone in the news repeatedly goes to treatment, and then dies of an overdose or destroys their life with bad behavior.”
Religious Families and Addiction
Written by Thomas Gagliano, MSW
In order to understand why religious families inadvertently and at times unintentionally create an environment where their children run to addictions rather than God as their coping mechanism, we must first begin by understanding the mindset of a child. When we look back on our childhood, we look back through adult lenses. Since then, we have grown by our maturity and life experiences, which may have distorted the truth of our childhood. Many of us carry messages that tell us we are bad children if we get mad at our parents or disagree with them. This message can have a profound impact on the way the person feels about himself or herself in adulthood. It is important to respect our parents but we can also have different opinions. A child needs to feel their opinion is important to their parents or the child may feel he or she isn’t important. Validating and acknowledging a child’s feelings is essential if they are to have self-worth. If children are afraid to share their true feelings and doubts in fear of reprisal then who can they trust? All of these messages set up the destructive entitlement that leads to addiction. It’s no coincidence that most addictions begin before the age of 18.
Couples who have struggled with the enormity of damage caused by sexual addiction often feel hopeless and helpless. When they think of the long road from discovery of the problem to recovery and reconnection, it can seem daunting and endless. However, many couples do find help and they find recovery and they reconnect in ways that are beyond what they ever allowed themselves to believe possible.
Dr. Patrick Carnes, the Clinical Architect and Senior Fellow for Gentle Path at The Meadows, has been working with patients and using his experience to help develop his next seminal work, Recovery Zone II, Building A New Life.
In a sneak peek of Dr. Carnes’ work, he describes what the patients that come to Gentle Path experience when approaching the idea that treatment may be needed for their sexual issues. He states:
“We are wired to protect the young self. Consider a child in danger. Even the most hard bitten or self-absorbed of us instinctively will protect children. Without hesitation, we will place ourselves between the threat and the child. We will do all that we can to ensure the protection of that child even if life threatening to us. Every reader upon reflection will remember an effort to help a child. There was no deliberation. No stopping to reflect on whether that child was worthy. Or even was there consideration of whether the child was unknown to us or a friend or a family member. We just did it. Collective consciousness, genetic coding, or cultural imprint, it did not matter. The decision was made.
By Joe Turner
Sex addiction is an incredibly deteriorating illness that, in many cases, stems from traumatic incidents in a person’s developing years. Sexual abuse, particularly when the victims are men, often goes unreported due to social stigmas, and preconceived gender roles and stereotypes about sexual abusers and victims.
By Joe Turner
In a world which is becoming increasingly reliant on the internet, exposure to the explicit sexual content lurking in its dark corner is inevitable. The fact that we have a world of information at our fingertips is as harmful as it is useful, especially to curious youngsters who are just beginning to become aware of their sexuality.
By Crystal Nesfield, Trauma Therapist, Willow House at The Meadows
While the impact of sexual addiction is becoming more widely understood, and treatment for sexual addiction more widely available, the issues associated with sexual anorexia are often overlooked.
Dan Griffin, a Senior Fellow at The Meadows, recently sat down with Dr. Jon Caldwell, Medical Director for Meadows Behavioral Healthcare, for an in-depth conversation about early childhood trauma, attachment, triggers, reactivity and more.
The conversation was featured on Griffin’s new podcast, The Man Rules, in which he talks with guests about the challenges men face in finding success and happiness.
What is Sex Addiction • Innovative Experiential Therapy • 12-Step Program